How do people interact with your child?

Children learn to be social and communicative by interacting with people. Consequently, they will learn a lot from the ways partners interact with them. Below are some ways adults can interfere with a child becoming social and communicative:

Do his partners act in ways he cannot try?
Do partners focus on getting him to do what they want?
Do partners do most of the doing without waiting?
Do partners mainly question and command the child?
Do partners dominate or control interactions with the child?
Do partners act serious and focus on specific answers?
Do partners ignore the child and focus on their goals?
Do partners act more like a directive teacher than play partner?
Do interactions lack a sense of humor or enjoyment?
Do partners criticize or penalize the child for his attempts?
Do partners attend more to negative than positive behavior?
WHAT HAVE ADULTS DONE TO HELP CHILDREN BECOME MORE SOCIAL?
Forty years of clinical research have shown that certain strategies help adults build social relationships with children. The strategies include the following:
Matching by acting in ways the child can do.
Balancing interactions by doing only as much as the child.
Taking turns by acting in back and forth ways .
Waiting and allowing enough time for child’s turn.
Responding to what the child does and says .
Sharing control of topics and participation with the child.
Making interactions more playful than tense jobs.
Interact with actions and sounds child can do.
Interact with words child can do.
Join into the child’s ways of playing.
Play often without talking most of the time.
Talk only as much as the child talks.
Make comments more than questions or commands.
Play back and forth more like Ping-Pong than Darts,
responding to what the other person does.
Interact briefly whenever you see the child.
Enjoy the child so he enjoys you.
Dr. Jim MacDonald
macdonaldj86@gmail.com

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