HOW TO BE PLAYFUL AND AFFIRMING

 HOW TO BE PLAYFUL AND AFFIRMING

1. Accept what the child is doing, then playfully join his activities.
2. Be more interesting than child’s distractions.
3. Be animated, funny, silly.
4. Identify and respond to little positive or new things your child does.
5. Reward child for doing “better” not doing perfectly or like an adult.
6. Show him new things to do in playful nonjudgmental ways.
7. Try to reduce tension and stress between you and your child.
8. Frequently let him know you enjoy him with touches, smiles, or words.
9. Make the interactions fun for YOU too.
WHAT TO AVOID
1. Interacting without smiles and humor.
2. Being business-like or task-focused during play sessions.
3. Judging and criticizing the child.
4. Showing irritation with what your child does.
5. Sending messages that tell your child he is doing something “wrong”.
6. Allowing yourself to be stressed with the child.
7. Trying to get the child to do the impossible.
8. Focusing more on “right and wrong” than “something better”.
9. Showing little enjoyment when child does new things.
10. Displaying an attitude that the child is just not “good enough”.
11. Choosing activities you cannot genuinely enjoy.
LEARN THAT ENJOYING YOUR TIME TOGETHER HELPS YOUR CHILD LEARN.
LEARN – The famous child psychologist, Jean Piaget, found after 50 years of research that PLAY IS THE MOST IMPORTANT WORK OF A CHILD. He found that when the child is relaxed and following his creative drive, he learns more than when someone tries to teach him something outside his experience.
Many adults think that children learn only when they are being taught something the teacher wants. This is definitely not true. Almost everything can be learned in a playful way when both partners are relaxed and in tune with each other.
PRACTICE – Try playing in whatever the child is doing. Try this five or more times a day. They can be very short at first. When you do this learn to do the following that will help your child be more social.
Let him initiate.
Follow what he does with something similar.
Do things he can do.
Show him a possible next step.
Focus on keeping the interactions going.
Avoid pushing for any specific behavior.
Wait for child to respond.
If you get stressed or tense, stop and relax.
Notice that when your child is enjoying you, he stays and learns more.
RECORD – Occasionally, jot down how long your child stayed with you, how much each of you enjoyed being together (on a 1-5 scale).
Make child's behavior into play.
Be animated but not overwhelming.
Make playful interactions out of daily activities.
Make your teaching tasks into play.
Take play breaks.
Play with sounds and words.
Dr. Jim MacDonald
macdonaldj86@gmail.com

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